What is it that makes activists incapable of having a sense of humor? Whether it’s conservatives who get their holy undergarments in a twist over a community street fair or leftists freaking out over a simple bake sale, the answer to anything they don’t like always seems to be screeching like a bitch. Which, in their defense, they’re extremely good at.

The latest horror story? Greenpeace has discovered that the Japanese are torturing whales. By…making them wear Santa hats. It’s just all too shocking:

It’s a scene that brings laughter and cheers from visitors to a Japanese aquarium - two white beluga whales wearing Santa hats.

But environmentalists are saddened by the sight of what they say is the final humiliation for the whale in a country that hunts them down with harpoons.

The beluga whales have been fitted out with the cute Santa hats to entertain the crowds at the Hakkeijima Sea Paradise on Yokohama Island.

There’s even a chance to receive a wet kiss under the mistletoe from a yuletide beluga.

The Daily Mail doesn’t take the story to it’s natural end, though. I’m sure there is more activist outrage to be had. Human rights groups will no doubt protest that the whales - who, being Japanese, are probably practitioners of Shinto traditions - are being forced to don Christian-affiliated items. The Christians will protest that this is a trivialization of Christmas, as there were no beluga whales in the barn with the sheep and camels when Baby Jesus was born. And Rick Santorum will proclaim that he was right all along about  gay marriage leading to bestiality; after all, people in Japan are now paying for the chance to make out with whales - in public!

Filed under: Sexxx, Jesus is Magic, Pop! Goes the Culture