Libertarians love science fiction, and science fiction movies. So needless to say, this was a big week for them. Not only was it the grand finale to the annual Official U.S. Buy Lots of Shit to Help the Economy Season, it was also the release of Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.

I think it’s safe to assume that everyone who views the world through a basic Millian framework, ie: all F&S readers, knows that the Alien movies and the first two Predator movies were the epitome of uber-awesome. Even beyond the obvious libertarian themes, you had essential elements for awesome: 1) cool looking alien monsters 2) explosions 3) death 4) people kicking ass 5) technology that was amazing and saved everything (as technology eventually will).

The movies were also good metaphors, with many robust ideas about liberty, which is why they had such a big impact on the Culture. Many people say that Alien was about The Feminism. Because the alien was a big penis, basically, and because the badass chick Ripley, played by Sigourney Weaver, killed it in the end. Also, because all the men died. The Feminism is a friend to The Freedom, in theory anyway, so I think this sounds OK.

It is also accurate to argue that the aliens represented communism, socialism, and all forms of pernicious collectivism. They were all the same, a “hive mind,” they call it, and they did not have individuality. Ripley loved The Freedom, and thus she opposed these things. In the end, like Ronald Reagan, she triumphed.

What am I saying, is that Gorbachev was an alien, basically. But with extra chins instead of extra mouths.

It’s true that Predator had some wrong neoconservative foreign policy prescriptions. It advocated spreading The Freedom through government force, namely Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Also: Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura, who was a libertarian politician in Minnesota, but had questionable views on The Freedom, and probably had never read Bastiat, Rothbard, Postrel, etc.)

But as we found out in Predator 2, with Danny Glover, the Predator alien is just a species of hunter. And hunting is an important part of The Freedom. Same is true with guns, which the Predator has shitloads of. Reason Magazine said a few issues ago: You have a right to own a bazooka. As they say, if you criminalize guns, the first ones to get the guns will be the Predators.

So Predator advocated for an important principle: hunting with any type of weapons, even shoulder-mounted laser-guided space weapons. (I think this is an exaggeration, since those don’t exist, but sometimes the Culture likes to do that to make a point. Anyway, you get the idea.)

Now on to the main event. The first Aliens vs. Predator film had a tagline that said, “Whoever wins, we lose.” Normally advertising for Hollywood films does not understand its own freedomic grounding, but this tagline gets to the heart of the matter. In fact, neither Ed Crane nor Nick Gillespie could have said it better himself.

What this tagline tells us is simple: These movies are about being a libertarian in the two-party system.

The aliens are the Democrats, acid-blooded collectivist killing machines whose only concern is equality. The Predators are highly individualistic hunters with amazing guns. In other words, Republicans.

But probably they have an honor code that forbids smoking pot, or living with your girlfriend, which we all know is a breach of the moral fiber contained in The Freedom. Just so you get me, I am basically saying that these creatures have a lot in common with Jerry Falwell.

The humans in these movies, then, are the libertarians. Small bands of individuals whose lives and rights are infringed upon by the violent, authoritarian battling of two far-more-powerful sects.

The clear message is this: Both the aliens and the predators are wrong, and you should not support either of their corrupt totalitarian fantasy regimes. Though if I had to pick, I would vote for the Predator.

Filed under: Freedom on Film