As a freedom-loving Virginian, I must announce yet another threat to personal liberty in a state which was once was the cradle of patriots. It seems some pinko comsymp Spend-o-crat in Richmond has introduced a bill to ban plastic replica testicles from the trailer hitches of the Old Dominion’s red-blooded pickup trucks.

Notice the startlingly life-like veins molded into the plastic

What, friends, has America come to if the drooling, toothless rednecks of the Confederate South are unable to display molded plastic balls from the back of their truck beds? What alternate methods of expression are we to expect them to embrace? It’s not as if your average pickup driver is going to be able to turn to the gentle consolation of metered poetry to express the feelings soon to be denied him by a ban on fake rubbery nads. I mean, come on, Virginia legislators. Let the baby have his bottle.

Filed under: Daily Rant