Sure, we all love the fuzzy bunnies and grotesque acquatic mammals of the world, but how best to protect them in the wild? We could go down the EPA/UN path, and merely try to pass a lot of laws telling people not to do anything that might endanger those critters, but we all know that’s a little impractical. Here’s the real solution: adoption!

Merlin the manatee: Ooh, ooh, he’s magic 

The fine folks at Adopt-A-Manatee are hoping you will do just that. For a mere $25, you can have your very own giant underwater tub of love, complete with photo and adoption certificate - and the best part is, you don’t have to feed it. It’s like “adopting” one of the Third World children that Sally Struthers is always talking about, except without all the icky flies and stuff.   

*Trivia bonus: fans of Spike TV’s excellent show Manswers will remember that the manatee is a close relative of the dugong, a similar sea cow-ish mammal found in the Eastern hemisphere. And we all know what that means.

Filed under: Consumerism Rulez