The world of comedy is short one of its most influential figures today. George Carlin died Sunday in Los Angeles. He was 71.

While he undoubtedly grew embittered as he aged, and many of his once-hilarious rants seemed to be simply angry, conspiracy-laden tirades in the past few years, it would be hard to overstate Carlin’s impact on the world of comedy. His influence could be seen in so many different performers: from the cutting wit of Chris Rock and the biting commentary of Lewis Black, to the half-baked observations of the late Mitch Hedberg, Carlin’s legacy has left an indelible mark among his fans and peers.

When I heard the news this morning, I thought to myself: “shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits.” (As you may imagine, the video is NSFW.)

R.I.P.

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Filed under: Freedom on Film, Pop! Goes the Culture

No, really. They said that:

A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.

The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds (363 kilograms) and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa’s director said Thursday.

“There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art,” Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. “An enema is almost a symbol of our region.”

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Well, if the region makes its living from shooting mineral water up the asses of the well-to-do, they might as well celebrate it, right? It sure beats a giant bronze sphincter, no?

(I just hope D.C. doesn’t follow suit and erect a giant douche bag.)

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Filed under: Consumerism Rulez, Pop! Goes the Culture

While most people use YouTube for stupid shit, very stupid shit, and mind-bogglingly stupid (albeit highly entertaining) shit, every now and again someone harnesses the power of the Interwebs for a good cause.

In 1974, at the end of her eighth-grade year at Parkland Junior High School in Montgomery County, Kathy Beatty signed a classmate’s yearbook. “To a real sweet guy,” she wrote. “Too bad we had to get stuck with Rodman for math. See ya’ next year.”

The next year, Kathy was assaulted and left to die in a ditch not far from her home in Aspen Hill. No one was ever arrested.

The classmate, Steve Kerpelman, went on to become a police officer and then a private detective. He has now turned his attention to his former classmate, whose friendly, joking demeanor remains evident in how she signed the yearbook note: “Wov, Kathy Beatty.”

“I think this case can be solved,” Kerpelman said.

Kerpelman and his small Columbia-based firm, Legal Investigative Group, are employing an unusual tool: YouTube.

On a recent day, in a basement recording studio in Rockville, one of his investigators, Debra Hayre, narrated what would become a voice-over. “We are convinced someone knows something about that night,” she said. “And we are asking for your help.”

So, as my good deed for the day, here is the video:

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Filed under: Freedom on Film, Pop! Goes the Culture

How stoned do you have to be to think of this bullshit?

The Kingwood teenager’s story of decapitating a corpse and using the head to smoke marijuana was so outlandish that at first Houston Police Department senior police officer Jim Adkins did not believe it.

Yet, Kevin Wade Jones Jr., 17, appeared almost indifferent as he relayed the bizarre description of his and two friends’ activities at an Humble area graveyard, Adkins said.

…

Jones claimed he and his friends used shovels to dig up the body and removed the corpse’s head with a garden tool, Adkins said. Jones also revealed he and the other two boys took the severed head to the juvenile’s home, where they used the skull as a “bong” to smoke marijuana, the officer said.

I’m guessing it was more of a ‘bowl’ or a ’steamroller,’ but I suppose that’s beside the point.

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Filed under: Pop! Goes the Culture

From Fark:

RIVERHEAD, N.Y. (AP) ― A Long Island music shop owner accused of selling knockoff Gibson Les Paul guitars has been arraigned in a pickup truck in a courthouse parking lot after his lawyer said the 500-pound defendant couldn’t walk into the courthouse.

State Supreme Court Justice Robert Doyle said the man’s “severe weight problem” prompted the unusual proceeding Thursday in Riverhead. A defense lawyer also had given the court a doctor’s letter saying the defendant suffers from osteoarthritis.

The question I want answered: Was he was in the cab or the bed of the pickup truck?

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Filed under: Pop! Goes the Culture, Profiles in Governance

I don’t know if some slack-assed intern is to blame or if the producers at FOXNews are really as dumb as they seem to be, but this is just incomprehensibly stupid:

Yes, when Hillary suggested a Lincoln-Douglas style debate with Barack Obama, some bumbling imbecile at FOXNews apparently thought Abraham Lincoln debated Frederick Douglass.

I don’t read Wonkette (nothing against them, I just don’t) , so tip to Yglesias.

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Filed under: Pop! Goes the Culture, Daily Rant

So I’m scanning the Times of London this morning and I see this pic of exiled Hamas leader, Khaled Meshaal:

Look familar?

Seriously, have you ever seen Taylor and Khaled in the same room together?

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Filed under: Pop! Goes the Culture

There is a new threat to the people of Venezuela: Bart Simpson.

He is a garish shade of yellow, a menace to his teachers, a constant source of anguish for his family . . . and now deemed likely to corrupt the children of Venezuela, which has banished Bart Simpson and co from the airwaves.

“It had to be taken off,” a spokeswoman for Televen, a private television station, said of The Simpsons, after receiving an order from the National Telecommunications Commission. “They consider it to be a series that isn’t appropriate for that time, because it isn’t appropriate for children.”

Ok. So maybe some of the adult themes of this prime time Sunday American staple are indeed inappropriate for 11 A.M. viewing. I am sure that the Venezuelan government will ensure that quality family programming replaces America’s most celebrated underachiever:

In an effort to maintain ratings, it will broadcast Baywatch Hawaii, the 1990s show featuring a cast of swimsuit-clad women and muscle-bound lifeguards that a group of British mothers once condemned as soft porn.

Sex + family programming? What a brilliant concept! Write PBS! We need big-breasted women running in slow-motion on Sesame Street! Adult American male illiteracy will vanish!

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Filed under: Pop! Goes the Culture, Profiles in Governance

In a post game interview, Memphis coach John Calipari said that as his team was at the free throw line — the most glaring weakness of that stellar team — approaching the end of regulation, he left it all up to the Big Guy in the sky:

Calipari tried to recapture his thoughts from the final 10 seconds of regulation. It was a religious experience.

“When Derrick went to the line, I sat there and I said, ‘Lord, if he makes these two, we’re supposed to be national champs. And if that’s your will, I’m fine with it. If he misses them, and we’re not, I’m fine with that too.’ I’m probably not supposed to say that, but that’s where I was.”

That’s right. It’s not just rap stars and boxers, anymore. Now loathsome coaches who refuse to teach fundamentals give all power to Jebus — who is most obviously a Jayhawks fan.

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Filed under: Jesus is Magic, Pop! Goes the Culture

What is scarier than an atomic bomb? Keanu Reeves with a cause.

In the upcoming remake of the Day the Earth Stood Still, the actor will step into the role of Klaatu, delivering the message that if we as a species do not act now, global warming will destroy us–changing the original agent of our destruction from war and nuclear weapons.

“The first one was borne out of the cold war and nuclear détente. Klaatu came and was saying cease and desist with your violence. If you can’t do it yourselves we’re going to do it. That was the film of that day,” Reeves explained. “The version I was just working on, instead of being man against man, it’s more about man against nature. My Klaatu says that if the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the earth survives. I’m a friend to the earth.”

Though I kind of doubt he used the word detente, Keanu makes sense. After all, what’s more frightening, the skin-searing, city-leveling instant death of nuclear bombs, or the idea that in 500 years time we’ll be able to walk outside without jackets in early March? EARLY March! The horror! The horror!

The new version also, perhaps unwittingly, hits the environmentalist-nail on the head, highlighting their core belief– that nature is more important than the lives of men.

On review though, this switch-over to global warming doesn’t really seem as smooth as I first thought. I haven’t read the story, nor have I watched the original movie, but it seems that the aliens in the original version had some real cause to worry about humanity engaging in ever increasingly sophisticated warfare…I mean, it is conceivable that we would one day create weapons with a range that might endanger other planets.

But global warming? Not so much. Why would aliens feel the need to regulate us destroying our own planet? It just doesn’t jibe. Unless they try to claim that humans in the future will spread the effects of global warming to affect other planets (like the way Halliburton totally caused the mars ice caps to melt).

Then again, I am trying to make sense out of a Keanu Reeves movie, which can sometimes feel like working with an alien rubik’s cube.

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Filed under: Freedom on Film, Pop! Goes the Culture