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Three Tips for Surviving a Recession

1. Try not to have a job that could be done by a young Chinese child for a fraction of your salary.

2. Regardless of what your mortgage broker suggests, don’t lie about your income on the loan application. You can’t afford a $250,000 house on $27,000 a year.

3. Spend tax rebate (courtesy of good ol’ Uncle Sam) on better-quality, cheaper, foreign-made goods instead of lower-quality, expensive American-made shit. You’ll get more bang for your buck.

…and the Matching Thong!

That pretty silk paisley reminds me of another opportunity for fabric coordination:

Oh, to live in a world where everything is color coordinated!