Leave it to politicians to come up with increasingly imbecilic ways to waste taxpayers’ money:

LINCOLN, Neb. — A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator’s lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn’t properly served due to his unlisted home address.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. What would posess you to do such a thing?

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.

Right. Well, it was thrown out, so that’s settled then?

On Tuesday, however, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward.
[…]
“The court itself acknowledges the existence of God,” Chambers said Wednesday. “A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God’s omniscience.”

Therefore, Chambers said, “Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.”

This is the problem with the law. The judge had to find some sort of legal reason to dismiss instead of ruling “The plaintiff, if we can really call him that, is a fucking moron.”

Comments Off»
Filed under:Jesus is Magic, Profiles in Governance

“Hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards more money than a sucker could ever spend”

Comments Off»
Filed under:Consumerism Rulez, Afternoon Dance Party

Comes great responsibility:

You have to appreciate consumerism and humor combining for a good cause. I expect to see female friends of F&S sporting this shirt in the near future.

Comments Off»
Filed under:Consumerism Rulez, Sexxx

Your Veep-to-be yells at your supporters at a Klan NASCAR rally…

A prominent campaign ally contradicts himself on basic strategy (take the gloves off!/fire everyone!) in one week’s time…

AND

The most articulate pro-Iraq invasion journo endorses your anti-Iraq invasion opponent.

Only something truly terrible* could resurrect the McCain campaign at this point.

If Aaron Tippin and Toby Keith throw in the towel, we may see Mondale-like returns. Come to think of it, given the McCain campaign’s inability to read history, we may anyway.

*This is not a personal value judgment. According to the stats on Meet the Press (via Newsweek poll) this weekend, the only policy McCain leads Obama in is how to deal with terrorism. And the 9/11 Truthers can start their conspiracy theory predictions right….about…NOW.

2 Comments»
Filed under:Politics is Personal, Mock the Vote

Just a cool list here.

Comments Off»
Filed under:Pop! Goes the Culture

I meant to post this weeks ago, but this is as good a time as any:

Enjoy the debate tonight.

Comments Off»
Filed under:Sexxx, Mock the Vote

No, really. We have no fucking clue.

Every writer on the blogosphere has some “nugget of wisdom” to share, or a link to a different blogger’s “expert opinion.” We’re not professional economists, we’re amateur satirists. That’s why we’ve avoided talking about this shitstorm like the plague. Yes, government policies probably led us down the wrong path, Community Reinvestment Act, GSE’s, blah blah blah. It’s all been said a million times by now. We are realistic enough to realize that we lack the technical training necessary to contribute any new insights to this discussion. So, we’re going to take a pass on this topic for the time being. Go ahead and read the professionals. Read the economists at Marginal Revolution, or Freakonomics. Conservative, liberal, we don’t give two shits. Read Greg Mankiw, read Paul Krugman.  All we can do is promise to continue our fight for freedom and shit by providing our astute and sardonic commentary on the current social and political climate.

Comments Off»
Filed under:The Dismal Science, Daily Rant

Whoa.

IRVINE – A Los Angeles Sheriff’s deputy was charged today with torture, mayhem and sexual assault for an attack in which he allegedly tried to force his wife to castrate a man she was planning to leave him for, prosecutors said.

Police took Robert Avery McClain, 34, into custody on Monday, hours after the male victim was found at an Irvine apartment complex. Prosecutors on Wednesday detailed an attack they say was spurred by McClain’s wife’s announcement that she was leaving him for another man.

…

Upon arriving at the apartment complex in the in the 1000 block of Peyton, Prosecutors say McClain led the two into a kitchenette area in the back of the leasing office, where he began to argue with them. As the argument escalated, McClain is accused of punching and kicking his wife and the other man, before taking out a knife and forcing them both to undress.

McClain undressed as well, prosecutors said, at which point he is accused of unsuccessfully ordering his wife to perform oral sex on both him and the other man, then giving his wife the knife and ordering her to castrate the other man, which she pretended to do.

Prosecutors said McClain is then accused of using the knife to repeatedly slice the other man’s face before forcing his wife to leave with him.

After leaving the leasing office, McClain is accused of forcibly sodomizing his wife, chopping off her hair with the knife and driving her back to their nearby Irvine home.

…

If convicted, McClain faces a maximum sentence of life in prison. His arraignment date is still undetermined, district attorney’s official said.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department announced Tuesday that they plan to fire McClain.

Emphasis added in the hopes the LACSD doesn’t change its “plan.” I’m all for “innocent until proven guilty”…but c’mon now.

Comments Off»
Filed under:Profiles in Governance

Heritage!

Comments Off»
Filed under:Politics is Personal

As Tera put it,

“It’s the end of the financial world as we know it, and I feel fine”

I don’t know why everyone is all upset about their portfolios…my Trapper Keeper is in remarkably good shape after all these years.

Comments Off»
Filed under:Afternoon Dance Party, Profiles in Governance